Resources: Those Who Are Homeless

Reverend Tom's powerful sermon last Sunday was paired so well by music, story, and video.  Asking each of us to start seeing the person behind the box - to start giving to all in the ways we can.

We encourage you to watch, listen, read some of the amazing pieces that helped make the sermon so powerful.

In addition, if you can give of your time, your energy, or your resources DUUC works with the following local groups to end homelessness and provide temporary (and long-term) housing.

DuPage County PADS

Bridge Communities

The Lady in the Box written by Ann McGovern
(find it at your local library or hometown bookseller!)

(Youth RE Director Steve Cooper reads The Lady in the Box)

Make Them Visible Campaign Video

Would You Harbor Me?

Song by Ysaye M. Barnwell 

Performace by the Choral Project (almost as flawless as our own DUUC choir's performance!)

Homeless
Song by Paul Simon and Joseph Shabalala
Performance Ladysmith Black Mombazo

DUUC congregants were invited to decorate some of the boxes that will be used for  Sleep Out Saturday.

About that homeless, mentally ill, and intoxicated man

**Editor's Note:  The service on Sunday October 12th was an incredibly moving sermon on the easily forgotten human element of homelessness.  The following post was written by DuPage Unitarian Universalist Church congregant, and frequent blog contributor, Ruth Elliott.**

Today the service was about homelessness. I wrote this in the Spring, and thought it was appropriate for the blog today. - Ruth Elliott

Dear Well Intentioned Friend,

I know your intentions were not unkind when we talked the other day. I'm certain you had no idea the affect your story would have on me, and I'm somewhat ashamed I didn't speak up more clearly at the time.

Okay, here's the thing. Your story? About your daughter's dance class being threatened by a lone homeless man, the one where the instructors bravely hid all the girls (who 'were practically dressed in bikinis') in the locker room to protect them? The story where the lone homeless man who may have been intoxicated, who likely was mentally ill  (spoken with your voice lowered), had come into the lounge near the studio and sat down to watch the tv, you remember? Do you remember telling me how horrified you were, what danger these girls were in. Do you remember when you first described the man that I said, poor thing, he was probably just looking somewhere safe to rest?

Here are some things I didn't tell you. I have worked with homeless people for the last ten years. Yes, many are mentally ill, many are alcoholic or addicts or both. All of them suffer greatly. All of them are human beings, who love and are loved by someone. I didn't point out that mental illness and substance abuse are medical illnesses, just like cancer, or diabetics. I also didn't mention the reason many of them are homeless is because of inadequate resources to treat these disorders,and the tremendous negative stigma that goes along with being homeless, with being an alcoholic, with being an addict.

At one point while you were describing in great detail how horrifying and dangerous this man was, I did manage to quietly say, just like my son. I don't think you caught my meaning. I don't think you understood that what I was saying was that my son is homeless, that my son is mentally ill, that my son is an addict, that my son has curled up in all sorts of places trying to get some sleep, some comfort. I don't think you realized that while you talked about saving these girls from this threat, all I could see is the countless cruelties that the homeless, mentally ill suffer, that my son suffers. The diseases themselves and the heartbreak they cause to families are bad enough, but the stigma that well intentioned people attach to them and then use as a justification to treat them badly, as something less than human, and something not worth compassion, or love or comfort, the stigma is the worst of it all.

Change mentally ill to someone with cancer, with diabetics, suddenly it seems horrifying that someone suffering from cancer, or uncontrolled diabetes would be ostracized, would be seen as a threat to children.

Eventually all I could see was someone treating my son with the horror and disdain you very eloquently described, all I could see was the pain and the humiliation he has suffered. All I could see was my little boy being threatened, and there was nothing, absolutely nothing I could do to save him. All I could feel was all the pain and the heartbreak of the last several years as I fought to keep my son sane, sober and safe. You see, my well intentioned friend, I too am a mother, a very protective one, and I do understand the overwhelming desire to protect my children. My daughters took dance when they were young, I did my time sitting in studios, going to recitals, I do understand that part, to this day I would do anything to keep them safe. I also love my son with the same intensity, and I have done, and still do everything I can to protect him. Sadly with his disease part of doing what's best for him and my daughters is to let him hit a bottom so he can hopefully one day come back to me.

I couldn't tell you any of this. All I could do was to cover my face to hide the tears and run away. When I got to my car I sat for a very long while until I stopped crying and could drive home.

The other thing I didn't tell you is what I may have in common with the homeless man, I'm an alcoholic. I was raised by one and am related to several. The disease runs rampant in my family. I've been told to say I'm a person in long term recovery, meaning I'm sober and have been so for quite some time. I don't generally tell people this, because unlike, say cancer survivors, there aren't any coloured ribbons, or fun walks for alcoholics or addicts, even the clean and sober ones. People don't look at you as someone who has fought - and remains constantly vigilant - against a chronic and deadly illness, and survived, people see a drunk, an addict, someone who has a flaw in their moral character, someone who cant' be trusted, someone you can't leave your children with (yes, I have been at the receiving end of all these attitudes) people look at you as something that is less than normal people. That's why I don't generally share that about myself. That is also why when you told me about the homeless man the first thing I felt was empathy for him, and the pain he must feel at fear and loathing that he experienced in your daughter's dance studio, and likely just about everywhere else he goes.

I didn't tell you any of this, because these things are usually too raw for me to say out loud. These things have brought judgement and negative stigma on me and my family, and some days I'm just not up to saying out loud that this is wrong. This is so very wrong. That it is not okay to view people as less than. No is less than anyone else. I think if people could get that straight in their heads the world could be a more compassionate and beautiful place.

So, maybe, next time you see a homeless person, someone who is mentally ill, intoxicated,maybe, you could let some compassion enter your viewpoint, and not let fear guide your thinking and actions, maybe you could lead with kindness and compassion, just a little at first. Or maybe you could, just for a moment, reexamine the way you view the homeless, the mentally ill, the addicted, the alcoholic. Maybe that could be a start.

Gimme Shelter

 pads getting set up for the night

"Oh, a storm is threat'ning
My very life today
If I don't get some shelter
Oh yeah, I'm gonna fade away.."                - The Rolling Stones

dishes, and more dishes

“While we do our good 
works let us not forget 
that the real solution 
lies in a world in which 
charity will have become 
unnecessary.”  
      - Chinua Achebe, Anthills of the Savannah

My friend Pam and I have both been through the same wringer, and while we would have preferred an easier go of it, it helps to have a friend with whom you can really talk to and be yourself with. We get together every couple of months for coffee, usually at Starbucks (a company that supports marriage equality, but that's another blog...). Today we were just settling in to chat when a man walked by, returning to his table just behind us. I recognized him and smiled and was in the process of saying "hi" when I realized I had no idea how I knew this man. What came out of my mouth was, "hey, I know you, but I'm embarrassed to say I don't know how". He recognized me, but shook his head as I mentioned possible common places where we might know each other, yoga? workshops? church? meditation group? I knew I'd had conversations with him, but simply could not recall when and where. We all chatted a bit and then he went back to his computer and Pam and got caught up. Three hours later when we were leaving I turned to say goodbye to my friend from places unknown, and he looked me directly in the eye and said "I want to thank you for all the good work you do with PADS, I truly appreciate it." Of course. This man was one of the people I have got to know in my time volunteering for PADS. More specifically, this man was one of the homeless clients we shelter and feed.

making lunches

"The most beautiful people we have known 

are those who have known defeat, known 

suffering, known struggle, known loss, and 

have found their way out of the depths. 

These persons have an appreciation, a 

sensitivity, and an understanding of life 

that fills them with compassion, gentleness,

and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people 

do not just happen."  Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Scotty, a long time volunteer sets up the pads

So, let me tell you about Public Action to Deliver Shelter, or PADS as we call it. I have volunteered one night a month for about nine years now. On PADS nights I'd haul my kids and occasionally a friend or two, to the church where we, with many other volunteers, set up an overnight shelter for anywhere from 45-100 people without homes.

This means pulling out thin mattress pad, sheets, a blanket, a pillow and, if there is room, a chair for each homeless person, and placing them all in on the floor in one large room.

all ready to serve dinner

During this time we also bring together a hot and healthy dinner (baked chicken, potatoes/rice, vegetables, salad, rolls, dessert, coffee, drinks) and assemble bag lunches for each guest. Then, in the morning another crew comes in and makes and serves a bacon, eggs, bagels, and muffin  breakfast. In between there are people who volunteer to sit up overnight and watch over the guest while they sleep.

dish-washing - with STYLE

My job is in the kitchen. I'm in charge of making sure dinner gets set up, served, and cleaned up afterwards. This involves making sure all the food shows up (more volunteers bring in food they have cooked at home), that the food is warm enough, cold enough, cut up enough, or basically ready to serve people. I make sure Decaf coffee gets made, that there is milk out for the children that are allowed in early, that we have enough chicken pieces for the number of people we expect to serve (always a source of excitement), that the desserts get put out, that the tables are set, and that everyone has something to do, including the 5year old who has come with his parents and wants desperately to help.We have been short of chicken or potatoes or vegetables a few times. When that happens I either send someone out to buy chicken, make mashed potatoes for 70, toss a vegetable dish together, and once I made collard greens. Generally I have about 10 minutes to accomplish this task, so it is never dull.

hangin' by the desserts

Here are some of the things I want you to know about the people we shelter and feed.

• There are always at least few families, with kids from infancy to adolescence. These kids have everything they own in a car or back pack, have no privacy, and still sit down before and after dinner and try to do their homework, because during the day they go to school. My kids have grown up playing with hundreds of different homeless children, some of whom they knew from school.
• I've seen men carrying in suits so they can look presentable at their day job, even though they are spending the night on the floor of church crowded in with 70 other people, and one or two showers.
• There are disabled people, sometimes with children, there is an 8year old girl who translates for her deaf mother.
• I have seen all ages, races, faiths and apparent socio-economic statuses (people in suits, people in rags and everything in-between).
• Not once in 9 years has any client ever been unkind, occasionally you will get someone who is grumpy or distracted (I know I would be), but for the most part, clients are gracious and grateful and say thank you,  some in a way that makes me want to cry.
• After 9 years I still find myself surprised at the variety of people I see at PADS, the gentleman from the coffee shop for example, never would I have guested he had no home if I didn't see him at the shelter.
• There are times when there simply is not enough space, and we have to turn people away. When this happens the PADS staff work very hard to find an alternate location for these people to spend the night. I hate sending people away.
• The PADS organization is so much more than a place to sleep and a meal.

hard working AND good looking volunteers

 The following is from their website:

DuPagePads is so much more than a pad on the floor.

DuPagePads is about the journey home.

It’s about the journey from dependency to self-sufficiency. Not the shelter. Not the nights spent in a car, in a motel room or on the street. DuPagePads is a journey that begins with an extended hand, an affirming voice, and a trusting soul that will advocate undividedly for each individual.

The solution to end homelessness. Starts with housing.

The solution to end homelessness is more complex than providing individuals with food and shelter. Founded in 1985, DuPagePads is the largest provider of interim and permanent housing, coupled with support services in order to help individuals work toward becoming self-sufficient. These vital support services enable the individuals we help to receive case management and life coaching, employment support such as GED courses and job coaching, as well as engagement with employers—effectively stopping the cycle of homelessness.

DuPagePads IS the solution to end homelessness—because when someone believes in you, everything can change.

At the end of my shift we had fed 50 people, and people were getting settled in for the night. At the end of my shift it's not just about feeding and sheltering people. 

In the end it's about The Inherent Worth and Dignity of Every Person. 

In the end it's about Justice, Equity and Compassion in Human Relations. 

In the end, for me, it's about putting my beliefs in action, it's about caring for those in our community that need help. It's about treating every person with compassion and respect. It's about showing my own children how to treat people, that each person has inherent worth and dignity, and should be treated with respect and compassion. For no other reason than we are all human, and that this is how we should treat and care for each other.